Yesterday I was Audrey Cordova and today I woke up as Audrey Francois. This beautiful thing sleeping beside me was now my husband. I still couldn’t believe that Callum was my husband. It all happened too fast. We just snuck out of the party last night and then we were driving to a twenty-four hour chapel.
“Hey, beautiful.” Callum, my husband, fluttered his eyes open. He gave me a lazy smile.
I clutched the blanket tightly against my naked body. Does he remember anything? Does he remember that we just got married last night? I’d only drank a bit last night and he’d almost finished the bottle of alcohol he brought with him. Paano kung lasing lang siya noong mga panahon nay un? I didn’t know how he’d react once he finds out that I was now Mrs. Callum Francois.
“Callum…” I bit my bottom lip.
“What is it, Mrs. Francois?” He asked with a wide smile on his face as he sat up.
“You remember?” I asked.
“Of course, I do.” He answered and then his thick brows furrowed. “Nagsisisi ka ba?”
“It just… it just happened way too fast. I can’t believe I’m now your wife…”
“Do you regret it?” He asked again.
“I don’t know… I don’t feel like I should. Do you regret it?” I asked him the same question.
“I agree about what you said about it happening too fast. I was never impulsive, Audrey. I always knew exactly what I’m doing but with you, I don’t know anymore. I don’t… all I know now is that I’m madly in love with you. For once, I did what my heart told me to do. So no, I don’t regret it. Not one bit.” He lifted his hand to brush away some strands of hair on my face.
A slight smile spread across my face. He cupped my face and kissed my forehead.
“We have two options, Audrey. We can either have a divorce or we can try and make this marriage work. You decide.”
A part of me was telling me that this was wrong, it happened to quick. My parents taught me the value of love and marriage. It doesn’t happen overnight. Marriage isn’t something you do when you’re in Las Vegas and you had a few drinks on the hotel rooftop with the man who looks at you like you’re more beautiful than the stars in the sky. But I fell in love. I fell in love with him and the moment we had together. It was stupid and impulsive but I’d still stick to my excuse. I fell in love.
“I don’t know but it wouldn’t hurt to try, would it?” I chewed on my lower lip.
A smile spread across Callum’s face and his eyes were a warmer hue of black. “Alam kong masyado tayong nagmamadali pero hindi ibig sabihin mali ang naging desisyon natin. I’d prove to you that we didn’t make a wrong decision when you married me.”
“Pero paano kung ikaw yung nagkamali ng desisyon. I have a lot of baggage and one day you’re going to get tired of me.”
Callum shook his head. “I’ll carry those baggage with you. Nandito na ako. Hindi mo na kailangan buhatin yun mag-isa.”
“I’m not a wife material. Maduming babae na ako. Binaboy na nila ako. Hindi ko nga alam kung ilan silang gumalaw sa akin. I don’t even have normal sexual desires.” I swallowed the tears in when I felt it starting to come up. Kaya ba niya akong mahalin sa kabila ng ginawa nila sa akin? Because I knew I couldn’t. I couldn’t love myself. I was disgusted with my own self.
“Don’t you ever say that again, Audrey. Hindi ka madumi. There is nothing wrong with you as a person. After what you’ve gone through, you deserve every good thing in this world. You deserve to be loved so please, let me in. Let me be here for you, let me love you.”
“What if I’m not-“
“Shh. Enough with the what ifs. This is the what it is. We’re married now and we love each other. Iyon lang naman ang mahalaga, di ba?” He asked with warm eyes.
I slowly nodded my head.
He nipped my chin between two fingers. “Hey, listen up. You’re married to the hottest psychiatrist in town. Cheer up, love.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at what he said. My face scrunched. “Yabang.”
“I’m just trying to make you smile.” He kissed my forehead.
When we got back from Las Vegas, Callum decided to move in with me to give our marriage a try. He still had his house but he brought some of his things and clothes to mine. We wanted to get a feel for married life and we wouldn’t be a real married couple if we lived apart from each other.
Honestly, I was excited. Callum brought back the normalcy I never thought I’d have again in my life. Since the abuse, I never thought I’d be able to find someone who’d want me. I was a mess. I had a lot of issues. I felt like I was a defective human being who no one knew how to fix. But then he came and turned everything around. Naranasan ko ulit kay Callum ang magmahal. I couldn’t wait to find out what kind of life we’d have together as a married couple. I wanted to know how Callum would be as a husband.
I helped Callum unpack his things and we had dinner together. Tinulungan niya akong magligpit ng pinagkainan naming pagkatapos. After we were done cleaning up, we sat on the living room and he started playing his guitar.
“Whenever I’m weary from the battles that rage in my head. You make sense of madness when my sanity hangs by a thread. I lose my way but still you seem to understand. Now and forever, I will be your man. Sometimes, I just hold you, too caught up in me to see. I’m holding a fortune that heaven has given to me. I’ll try to show you each and every way I can. Now and forever, I will be your man.”
He looked up at me as he strummed his fingers in his guitar strings. My heart swelled as he sang to me with his lullaby voice. The song was beautiful by itself but it made it even more beautiful because I knew he was singing the song to me.
“Now I can rest my worries and always be sure that I won’t be alone, anymore. If I’d only known you were there all the time. All this time… until the day the ocean doesn’t touch the sand. Now and forever, I will be your man.”
By the time he was done, I was already teary-eyed. I prayed to God n asana siya na ang lalaking ibinigay Niya para sa akin. He treated my scars as beauty marks. He loved me when I couldn’t even love myself. Now that I’d experience bliss and love like I had never experience before, I didn’t want to let go of it anymore. I wanted this marriage to work out. I wanted a family with Callum.
“Hey, why are you getting tear-eyed? Hindi mob a nagustuhan ang kanta?” He asked, wiping the tears on the corners of my eyes.
“I loved it so much.” I sobbed.
He pressed a gentle kiss on my lips. “Then why are you crying?”
“Because now I have you.” I said.
“Audrey…” He pulled me against him. “From now on, you’ll always have me. I’ll be with you for as long as you want me to. Araw-araw kitang liligawan. I will make you feel that you’re worthy of being loved every day hanggang sa maniwala ka. Hanggang sa matutunan mo rin mahalin ang sarili mo.”
I wrapped my arms around Callum and he took me in his. “Thank you for always being patient with me, for trying to understand me when I can’t even understand myself. My life would still be miserable if it weren’t for you.”
“No, you don’t need to thank me. With you, I couldn’t be happier. Sa’yo ko lang nakita ang pagmamahal na matgal ko nang hinanap. You think I’m saving you when really, you were the one who saved me. All I knew was darkness but then I met you. You’re the only place in this world that feels like home. For the first time in my life, I’d experience what real happiness is with you.” He said, kissing my hair.
I turned my head and kissed him on the jaw. My lips trailed to the corner of his before I finally placed my lips on his. And then the next thing I knew, I was in his arms and he was carrying me inside our bedroom.
I was easing more into him now. I was getting more comfortable. I explored his body the way he’d explore mine. I was slowly learning to familiarize myself with the touch of his skin against my palms, with how it feels against my lips.
“Let’s do something a bit different tonight.” Whispered Callum as I kissed him on the chest while I stroke his growing length in my hand.
I looked up at him. “What do you mean?”
“Hold on…” He got up from bed and went to get something from the luggage he’d brought with him. It was a small camcorder.
“Cal!” My eyes widened.
“This is our first night in this house as husband and wife. I feel that you’re already opening up to me. I want to capture this moment so we could watch this again in the future.” He said.
I frowned. “Baka mamaya you’re just recording this for your research again.”
“I’ll let you have the camcorder when we’re done. Ikaw ang magtago.” He said, setting it up on top of the drawer beside our bed.
“We’re not porn stars.” Sabi ko.
“Tonight, we will be.” He grinned before sliding back in bed with me.
The thought of a camera pointing at us, recording everything we do thrilled me. Callum began kissing my neck as he brought his hand between my thighs. I gasped and threw my head back and sighed in delight when his fingers run along my folds. His strokes were controlled, the rhythm of it matched my pulse. I let out a moan when he pulled my lips apart and slipped a finger inside me.
Callum lifted his head up to look at me in the eyes. “I want you to look at me, Audrey. I want you to know that this is me…”
And so I did. He added another finger and they darted in and out of me all the while his thumb was rubbing my clit. I looked down and watched as his two fingers disappeared and reappeared in and out of me.
“Callum…” I breathlessly whispered as he added another finger.
“You look so beautiful when you’re excited and flushed.” He smiled, his dark eyes clouded with unadulterated passion. His strokes were hard and fast, I could feel his knuckles hitting me every time he thrusts his fingers in.
He suddenly stopped and I almost cried out with need, thrusting my hips up to him. He laid down the bed and positioned me on top of him. I was on my hands and knees with my bottom right in front of him and his manhood on my face. I wasn’t that innocent. I’d seen this when Therese, our friends, and I were teenagers. We’d clicked on a spam link which redirected us to an adult website and curiosity got to us. We watched a few videos with a mixture of fascination and disgust. We just all laughed about it afterwards.
I took in a sharp breath when I felt his hot mouth on my sex.
“Suck me off, Au.” He moaned.
I took his manhood in my hand and lowered my head to him. Callum released an appreciative growl that boosted my confidence. I began stroking the base of his length in one hand while my mouth bobbed up and down on the tip of it. He lapped on me like a thirstly dog and nibbled on the outer layer of my folds.
I bucked my hips, trying to meet the strokes of his tongue. I wanted more. I wanted more than this. I wanted him inside me. I wanted to feel his length ravaging my insides.
“Cal, please…” I begged.
“What do you want, Au?” He asked, panting.
“I want you to ravish me.” I moaned.
He shifted our position and I was now on my stomach right under him. He lifted my hips up and he positioned behind me. Callum slammed himself inside me with such powerful force. I screamed. It was so deep and hard I was no longer able to think.
He gripped my hair and gently yanked my head back. He gripped a hair full of fist so he could pound harder. He knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted it rough and dirty and wild. I didn’t want to be treated like I was a fragile. I wanted to feel like I was nothing but a vessel for his pleasure. I wanted to feel helpless and at his mercy.
I came and then he soon followed after, burying himself deep inside me and we both collapsed. He rolled over next to me, breathing heavily. I scooted close to him and he pulled me into his arms.
“I can’t believe I’m married to the most beautiful woman.” He let out a lazy smile.
Ipinatong ko ang baba ko sa dibdib niya. “And I can’t believe I’m married to a handsome psychiatrist.”
The following days had been nothing but bliss. He was a wonderful husband to me and I tried to be the best wife to him. I found my purpose again through him. It felt good to wake up in the morning with something to look forward to. Before me, I was merely living. I was just surviving.
Those simple things like going to his clinic so we could have our lunch together, coming home to him, our movie nights together, our weekend dates…. Those things were what kept my spirit high for the past few weeks.
I woke up without Callum next to me. Usually, I’m the first to wake up. I picked up his grey t-shirt and put it on. The shirt was big on me and the hem grazed just above my knees. I went to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth and then I exited our room. I found him in the kitchen, cooking breakfast for us. He was in front of the stove with nothing but his grey boxers on.
“Cal, what are you doing there?” I asked, yawning and stretching my arms.
“Good morning, wife.” He pressed a kiss on my lips. “Nagluto na ako ng breakfast natin. Do you want coffee or tea?”
“Just tea, please.” I told him.
He poured a hot water to a cup and dropped the teabag in. we sat on the table and ate our breakfast together.
“The last time I had your pancake it was so rubbery I felt like I was chewing on a huge gummy bear.” I complained.
“Sinarapan ko na yung pancake ko kaya di mo na mapipintasan yan.” He winked at me.
I chuckled and took a bite. It was soft and fluffy like how a normal pancake would be. “I am impressed, Dr. Francois.”
“You should be. Isn’t that the best pancake you’ve ever had in your life?”
“You are so quick to cling on your small achievements and milk everything you can out of it.” I shook my head, laughing.
“Audrey, honey…” My body stiffened when I heard a familiar voice. Was I just imagining it? I hoped it was just my imagination. “We’re here!”
I just heard my Mama’s voice from the living room. My head snapped at Callum to see his reaction. I wanted to know if he, too, heard what I just heard. Callum put his mug down and stared at me with brows furrowed.
I chewed on my bottom lip.
“Audrey, nasaan ka na ba-” Mama’s head peaked through the dining room door frame.
Agad na nahagip ng mga mata niya si Callum as he was the one facing the door. Her eyes initially flew up in shock.
“Ma…” Lumingon ako sa kanya at tumayo sa upuan.
Her eyes softened and she smiled at me. She held out her arms to me and I walked up to give her a hug. Her familiar cologne filled up my nostril and I inhaled it even more.
“I missed you, Ma.” I told her.
“I missed you, too.” She rubbed my back before pulling away. Her eyes averted to Callum.
“How are you?”
“I’m doing good, Ma’am.” Callum politely nodded, his face void of any expression. He was probably just as shocked as I was.
“Tinabi lang yung luggage naming sa room,” She said. They had their own bedroom here in this house. Doon sila natutulog kapag binibisita nila ako ditto. Mama’s head snapped at Callum, who couldn’t stand up because he had nothing on but his boxers. “Oh God! Paano ‘to?”
“Ma, bakit hindi niyo naman kasi sinabi sa akin na pupunta kayo?” I gently muttered. Callum would be so dead when Dad sees him.
“Biglaan kasi.” Mama bit her bottom lip.
“Cass, Drey…” I heard Dad’s voicing from the hallway.
I tightly shut my eyes. I heard Dad’s footsteps on the wooden floor growing louder and louder. And in a few seconds, he was standing behind Mama.
“Drey, my baby girl.” Malapad ang ngiting bati niya sa akin. “Come here, give Daddy a hu-”
His eyes flew to the table where Callum sat.
“Who the hell is he, Audrey?” Dad’s voice boomed throughout the room.
“Nick, calm down.” Agad na humarap si mama sa kanya at hinawakan siya sa dibdib.
“There’s a fucking naked guy in my daughter’s dining room and you’re telling me to calm down?” His jaw clenched.
“Dad, I can explain.” I massaged my temples.
“You better do, young lady!” He exclaimed and looked at Callum. “Who the hell are you?”
“Babe, your daughter’s twenty-five. Matanda na siya para magdesisyon para sa sarili niya.” Mama tried to keep him away from Callum. Hinarang niya ang sarili niya kay Dad.
“Do you fucking talk english? Didn’t you hear what I just asked you? Who the fuck are you?” Dad asked again.
“I am Callum Francois, sir.” Cal calmly answered, still on his seat. The poor guy couldn’t stand up. It would be so awkward if he did. My parents would see him in his boxers.
“What are you doing here, you son of a bitch?” Dad asked his tone hard and harsh.
“Dad, we’re living together now. He’s my husband.” I said.