Chapter Twenty Two

Anais and Coco’s wedding was held at Hacienda Zamora. The whole venue was straight out of a fairytale. Anais looked like a princess in her beige wedding dress as she walked down the garden. There were flowers of every kind, everywhere.

Their vows for each other were a tearjerker. I cried the whole ceremony. I couldn’t believe that my twin was finally getting married. They’d been inseperatable together as bestfriends since we were just kids and now I got to see them get married. He finally had his happy ending with Anais and their son. Masayang-masaya ako para kay Coco, Anais at syempre para kay Cookie.

After their wedding, they went straight to the airport. Mama and Dad gave them a ticket to New Zealand so they could spend their honeymoon there together. They promised Cookie that when they get back from the trip, they’d fly out of the country together as a family. Gusto lang nila masolo ang isa’t-isa sa honeymoon nila.

After their wedding, they went straight to the airport. Mama and Dad gave them a ticket to New Zealand so they could spend their honeymoon there together. They promised Cookie that when they get back from the trip, they’d fly out of the country together as a family. Gusto lang nila masolo ang isa’t-isa sa honeymoon nila.

Now that Coco’s wedding was finally over, we could finally get back to our normal life. Wala naman akong plano magstay dito sa Pilipinas. My stay here was exhausting.

Spending one week in our house was a mental torture to me. Araw-araw kong sinusubukan iwasan ang bata dahil ayaw kong magkasakita pa kami. I didn’t want any kind of interaction with him. I wanted nothing more than to get out of here and go back to California.

I peaked into the living room and saw Callum with the kid again. Isa pa itong kinakatakot ko. Habang tumatagal, nakikita kong napapalapit ang loob ni Callum sa bata. Tuwing nakikita ko si Callum palaging nakadikit sa kanya ang bata. I did not want him to grow attached to the boy. I was afraid he’d grow so attached to him that he’d communicating with him when we get back to California.

“Audrey.” Callum lifted his head up, the kid sitting on his lap. I felt like a deer caught in the headlight when our gaze met. “Arthur’s a quick learner. He already knows how to play Twinkle twinkle little stars. Come here! Listen to this.”

“I shook my head. “I have alot of things I need to get done.”

I quickly turned my back to them and went upstairs to my room. Two more days. I had to stay stay two more days and then we’d be back to our usual life. I’d already gotten the luggages ready. Inayos ko na din ang mga gamit namin ni Callum. I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t miss this place and my family but this was for the best. For my sanity and for the kid. I wanted to forget but I wouldn’t be able to habang nandito siya.

I went inside my walk in closet and started getting all my clothes so I could put them in our luggage. I’d just leave enough clothes to use for two more days.

“Ate Drey…” Mula sa labas ng closet narinig ko ang boses niya.
I shut my eyes tightly and let out a sigh. What was he doing here? Kanina lang kasama siya ni Callum.

“Ate Drey?” He called out again. I stayed in my closet, hoping he’d just go away, when I heard a loud crash in my room. Bigla akong napatakbo palabas ng closet. I saw the expensive figurine clock that I had placed on top of my vanity table now shattered on the ground. It was my favorite and I’ve had it since I was twelve, Dad had bought that for me for my twelfth birthday when we went to Haworth.

“What did you do?!” My voice boomed throughout the room.

“I-I’m sorry, Ate Drey…” He looked like he was about to cry. He bent down to try to pick up the pieces.

“Don’t touch that baka mabubog ka pa!” I shouted and then stormed towards him. I grabbed him by the arm. “I said don’t touch it! Didn’t you understand what I just told you? Hindi ka ba marunong umintindi?”

All those pent up emotions suddenly exploded. Parang nagdilim ang paningin ko. Bumalik lahat ang sakit na ginawa nila sa akin. I saw my abusers through the boy. Humigpit ang hawak ko sa braso niya and then I started shaking him.

“Bakit ba ang tigas tigas ng ulo mo? Bakit ang hirap mo pagsabihan? Bakit ba lapit ka ng lapit sa akin? Hindi mo ba ako titigilan?” I felt hot tears in the corners of my eyes.
Arthur began to cry and that shook me out of the trance. I let go of him and took a step back. The boy didn’t stop crying. He just stood there and cried his eyes out. The door slammed open and Callum came in. He was fazed for a second as he looked at the boy and then he looked at me.

“What did you do to Arthur?” His eyes wide with confusion and shock as he walked up to the boy and carried him into his arms. Yumakap ang bata sa kanya at sinubsob ang mukha sa dibdib niya. He wouldn’t stop crying.

“Audrey, ano’ng ginawa mo sa bata?!” He repeated, his voice now loud as thunder that it echoed through the room. I had never seen Callum this angry.

I opened my mouth but no words came out. I couldn’t think of anything to say and even if I did, I wouldn’t have voice to say it. Nagmamadaling pumasok sa kwarto si Mama at Dad.

Lumapit si Mama sa bata at hinimas ang likod nito habang walang tigil sa pag-iyak. “Hey, stop crying. Nandito na si Mama.”

“What is happening here?” Dad asked.

Lumapit si Mama sa bata at hinimas ang likod nito habang walang tigil sa pag-iyak. “Hey, stop crying. Nandito na si Mama.”

“I- I just w-want to give h-her flowers and I-I a-accidentally b-b-broke her clock…” The boy said in between his sobs.

Ma and Dad looked at me like I was some monster. I felt like a monster. I did not expect the outburst. I did not plan this. Hindi ko naman inisip na masasaktan ko ang bata. I stood there, my eyes burning with tears that I tried so hard to keep from falling. I could feel the thick and strained emotions in the air.

“I’m just going to get him something to drink.” Callum said in a gloomy voice as he carried Arthur out.

“Did you hurt him?” Dad asked in a controlled voice.

“I… he… he’s not supposed to be here!” I couldn’t hold my tears back any longer. I felt hot liquid pour down my cheeks. “Binasag niya kasi yung-”

“Hindi sapat na rason yun para saktan mo siya!” Dad’s voice was now loud and angry.

“Kahit kailan hindi ko kayo pinagbuhatan ng kamay kaya huwag na huwag mo din sasaktan si Arthur! He’s your son, Audrey! How could you hurt him?”

“He’s not my son!” I angrily exclaimed. “Anak siya ng lalaking gumahasa sa akin!”

“Drey, he came from you. Huwag mo naman sanang tratuhin ng ganon ang bata. Please stop it already. He’s yours. He grew inside you. You gave birth to him. Huwag mong pagbayarin si Arthur sa kasalanan na hindi niya ginawa.” Mama was already in tears as she spoke.

“Hindi niyo ako naiintindihan! You don’t know how painful this is for me! Kaya ang dali-dali niyong sabihin sa akin yan dahil hindi niyo naranasan ang naranasan ko. Hindi kayo yung na baboy! Ako! Ako!” I sobbed.

“I was raped too!”  Mama cried out loud. “Napagdaanan ko din ang pinagdaanan mo. I know how painful and hard it is. I know what it’s like to be disgusted with your ownself. I know what it’s like to feel dirty and used. I, too, got pregnant from rape. I was so young, I had my whole life ahead of me…”

“You’re lying…” I quietly said.

“Your mother would never lie to you.” Dad said, his eyes red with unshed tears. “I know because I was the one who did that to her. I was on drugs when I forced myself on your mother and I got her pregnant. Ang Kuya Miggy niyo ang naging bunga ng ginawa ko sa Mama niyo. She was seventeen when she had your brother. She was too young when she got pregnant with a baby that was forced on her and she had no idea what to do and who to turn to. But despite all  that, minahal niya ang Kuya mo ng buong-buo. She loved your Kuya with all her heart despite what I did to her.”

“Don’t try to make me feel better by telling me all those lies.” I shook my head. I was indenial. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Was this some kind of a sick joke? The father I looked up to was my mother’s rapist?

“Buong buhay kong pagsisihan ang ginawa ko sa Mama mo. Habang buhay kong ihihingi ng tawad iyon. I blame myself everyday for what what happened to you. Pakiramdam ko sa’yo bumalik ang ginawa ko sa Mama mo.” Dad’s voice was weark with tears.

“No, don’t say that. Wala sa atin ang may gustong mangyari iyon.” She told Dad and looked to my direction. “You’re not alone, Drey. I know how it feels like. I know… Tinangka ko din noon na ipalaglag ang Kuya mo. Wala akong naramdaman kung hindi takot at galit ng malaman kong na buntis ako. Nagtanong din ako kung bakit nangyari sa akin yun, bakit ako. Hindi ko itinuloy dahil alam kong habang buhay kong pagsisisihan kapag pinalaglag ko ang batang dinadala ko noon. That was the best decision I’ve ever made because if I had that baby aborted wala kayong Kuya Miggy ngayon. Noong hinawakan ko siya nawala lahat ng takot at galit sa puso ko. Nagkaron ng kasagutan ang lahat ng tanong ko. Mahal ko ang Kuya Miggy niyo, mahal ko kayo ng higit pa sa buhay ko.”

“Do you know why I didn’t want you to have that abortion? Kasi naisip ko ang Kuya Miggy mo. Just the thought of him not being a part of our lives breaks my heart. Ayaw kong gumawa ka ng isang pagkakamaling hindi mo na pwedeng maitama.  I don’t want you to carry any guilt for the rest of your life. I don’t want you to live your whole life wondering what could’ve been. If only you’d give Arthur a chance, Audrey. Kung bubuksan mo lang ng konti ang puso mo para sa kanya baka siya pa ang maghilom ng sugat diyan sa puso mo.”

I cried as the words sunk into me. Mama and Dad hugged me. What I just heard about my parents’ dark past overwhelmed me. I didn’t know about that. I didn’t even think Kuya knew about that. But I admired Mama more now than ever for what she had been through. I had never doubted her love for Kuya Miggy. I just didn’t know if I could love Arthur the way Mama loved Kuya Miggy. Hindi ko pa rin tanggap ang nangyari sa akin. Masakit pa din.


“I was once like you are now and I know that it’s not easy, to be calm when you found something going on… But take your time, think a lot, why, think of everything you’ve got. For you will still be here tomorrow but your dreams may not… How can I try to explain, when I do he turns way again. It’s always been the same, same old story. From the moment I could talk, I was ordered to listen. Now there’s away and I have to go away… It’s not time to make a change, just sit down, take it slowly. You’re still young, that’s your fault, there’s so much you have to go through…”  I heard Callum singing in Arthur’s bedroom. When I peaked in, I saw the boy in his bed and Callum sitting on the edge of his while playing his guitar. The boy had stopped crying. I wanted to come in and apologize but I didn’t have the strength to do so.

“Go to sleep okay?” Callum told him, brushing his strong fingers through the boy’s soft hair.

“Thank you, Dr. Callum, for making me feel better.” Arthur said.

“Why, of course, I’m a doctor. That’s what I do. But I’m a different kind of doctor. I heal heart and mind pains and illnesses.”

“You made my heart feel better, Dr. Callum.” He said.

“When your heart is not feeling good, you can always talk to me. I’m your Dr. Callum.” He gently said.

“And I’m your Arthur.” The boy giggled.

“You’re my Arthur.” Callum nodded his head with a gentle smile on his face. “Good night. Matulog ka na. I know you’re tired from all those crying.”

“Night night, Dr. Callum.” He yawned.

“Good night.”

He stayed for awhile before he decided to come out of his room. Our gaze locked when he exited the door. His dark eyes were as cold as black ice. I fidgeted with my fingers in front of me.

“How is he?” I asked in a small voice.

“It took long before I got him to stop crying. He was really heart broken. Hindi naman sinasadya ni Arthur na mabasag yung gamit mo. He left the rose he bought for you when he and your Mom went to the grocery earlier. He had his piggybank opened so he could buy you those flowers. Gusto niyang iwan na lang sa kwarto kasi galit ka daw sa kanya.” Callum said, his voice strained.

We walked to our room and I closed the door behind us.

“Nabigla lang ako…” I swallowed the lump in my throat.

“Sana hindi mo dinadamay si Arthur sa init ng ulo mo. I’ve been abused as a kid too and I never want him or any child to go through the same pain as I did. What is wrong with you?”

“Callum, there’s something you need to know about Arthur.” My eyes welled up with tears.

He turned to face me. His eyes turned the darkest shade of black as he looked at me. My heart pounded against my rib. It sounded so hard I could hear it in my ears. My legs shook and wanted to give in.

“What is it, Audrey?” He asked in a deep tone.

“Hindi ko kapatid si Arthur. He came from me. Siya ang naging bunga ng panbababoy nila sa akin…”

 << Chapter Twenty OneChapter Twenty Three >>

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8 thoughts on “Chapter Twenty Two

  1. “He looked like he was about to cry. He bent down to try to pick up the pieces.”

    This chapter is really heartbreaking 💔😢😭

    Like

  2. Grabe naiyak ako. Kaawa nmn si Arthur. Naintindihan ko rin si Audrey pero sana bigyan nia ng chance ung bata. Ang sakit lng sa puso.

    Like

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